Speaking Up When It Matters: Crucial Conversations in Business Aviation

Part 1: Why We Avoid Them and What It Costs Us

By: Karen Davies, CAM

Have you ever avoided a conversation that you knew should definitely take place? Maybe it was questioning a colleague’s work, admitting a mistake of your own, or confronting your boss about a critical issue—one you feared might spark disagreement.

Maybe you were held back by the fear of damaging a relationship, seeming weak, sparking conflict, or were doubting your right to speak up. Or perhaps you simply hoped the problem would resolve itself. You are not alone. Many of us choose to avoid the discomfort of an honest, difficult conversation and the conflict that could ensue.

However, especially in aviation, silence can sometimes lead to intensifying, long-term problems, safety issues, and even catastrophic outcomes. Even the most experienced team members may encounter moments when staying silent feels easier than speaking up, no matter how close-knit the group. A newly-hired technician may notice a missed step by a tenured co-worker during an aircraft inspection and may hesitate to speak up. A manager may avoid giving feedback that could upset a team member. A scheduler may struggle under pressure, but choose not to ask for help.

Why Challenging Conversations Matter: The Cost of Avoidance

There’s always room to improve communication within any organization, whether it’s through clearer information sharing, better reading of body language, or more structure and intention in digital messaging.  But perhaps more concerning are the conversations we choose to avoid. These are often the ones with the highest stakes, the ones that linger in silence, breed resentment, and quietly erode trust, alignment, and can even compromise safety.

At ServiceElements, we work with diverse teams across business aviation. In our coaching sessions and interviews, a consistent pattern has emerged: team members frequently carry unspoken tension, anxiety, or discomfort, yet are unwilling or unable to engage in the necessary conversations. These conversations might include giving and/or receiving the feedback of peers, respectfully raising concerns regarding a leadership decision, admitting a mistake, or confronting behavior that undermines the team. These avoided conversations can even extend beyond the team and into the relationship with customers or passengers, such as avoiding saying ‘no’ due to the fear of the impact that could have on the operation.

In 2020, Kobe Bryant’s helicopter crashed killing all on board. At time of take-off there was dense fog and poor visibility, and many aircraft chose to remain grounded until the weather improved.  The NTSB investigated the possibility that the pilot chose to continue the flight in poor visibility due to ‘self-induced pressure’ he felt due to his high-profile client. This is a tragic reminder of how difficult it can be to speak up.

Further, even when someone is prepared to have that challenging conversation, there can be barriers such as fear of retaliation, time pressure/operational urgency, or even generational differences.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, states, “Uncomfortable conversations are hard. But avoiding every conflict is harder.”

Avoiding these hard conversations often feels like the easier option, but doesn’t make the problem go away; in fact, it can lead to greater resentment, increased conflict, and distrust.  In the workplace, these elements can undermine the whole team framework leading to disengagement, poor performance, a negative and blame-centric work environment and compromised safety.

On the other hand, the ability to have these difficult conversations in a respectful, professional and planned way can help build trust, improve performance and safety and prevent future conflicts.

Think about the impact of the following scenarios on the organization’s culture, operational safety and service:

• The newly-hired technician notices a missed checklist item but doesn’t voice concern to a tenured colleague for fear it isn’t “his place” to do so.
• A crew member who is exhausted and dealing with family issues conceals this, heading out on a trip, in hopes of being promoted.

What Makes a Conversation Crucial?

As aviation professionals, you are likely familiar with CRM (Crew Resource Management) and MRM (Maintenance Resource Management). These programs emphasize communication, leadership, decision-making, and situational awareness as key tools to reduce errors and enhance safety. However, they don’t at all address the emotional difficulty of speaking up, especially in face-to-face situations where there is a lot on the line. That is where crucial conversation skills come in.  In Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High*, the authors define a crucial conversation as one where:

1. Stakes are high
2. Opinions are opposing
3. Emotions run strong
4. The consequences of not having the conversation are negative

Based on our experience, additional dynamics that often play a role include:

• Office politics are present
• Egos are at play
• Defensiveness derails good intentions

These are the conversations that many of us choose to avoid for the reasons we mentioned above.  However, being able to recognize the need for this crucial conversation and having the tools and skills to make it happen can be powerful in improving engagement, accountability and overall organizational health. As the book furtherstates“The health of an organization is measured by the lag time between when people identify a problem and when they discuss it.”  In any organization, that delay can be problematic, but in aviation the stakes are even higher. Business aviation, in particular, presents a considerably more complex work environment.

It is important to recognize that conflict happens and is normal in a healthy organization.  Healthy individuals and organizations worry less about avoiding or eliminating conflict, and instead accept it, transform and address it, and, when appropriate, use it as a learning tool to bring the team closer.Additionally, there is a difference between healthy conflict and damaging conflict.  Healthy conflict retains trust and respect and involves the exchange of different opinions or ideas in seeking a solution and achieving a common goal.  Unhealthy or damaging conflicts are often ego-centered and create negative situations and thought patterns, where grievances become personal and attention is taken away from the common goal or issue at hand.  In the latter, conversations are ego driven and self-centered and grievances build and spread. Establishing a common goal is key to successful crucial conversations, as is understanding – without judgement – the perspectives of others.  Conversations fail when we don’t ask or consider other people’s points of view, often because we assume we already know.

At ServiceElements, we’ve worked with many business aviation operations where the root cause of recurring problems wasn’t technical, environmental, or even generational; it was miscommunication or communication avoidance.

At one FBO, a line manager routinely denied last-minute time-off requests. As a result, technicians began calling out sick instead, impacting shift coverage and service quality. Disdain for the line manager increased and spread. When we introduced the concept of crucial conversations and equipped the line team with the skills and framework to initiate those challenging conversations, the individual team members developed the confidence and knowledge to have these sensitive discussions with successful outcomes, actually avoiding conflict and resentment.

In another case, the Director of a charter operation wanted to discipline two employees for poor performance and approached HR. But HR couldn’t justify this decision because the employees’ reviews were all positive. Why? Their manager had consistently avoided giving honest feedback, preferring to highlight only the positives due to their fear of conflict and upsetting anyone. With coaching and support, the manager learned to deliver constructive feedback clearly and respectfully, preventing ongoing performance issues and aligning with HR policies. Itis a disservice to our employees to avoid discussing their areas of improvement.  With the common goal of wanting each of our team members to succeed in their work for the organization, it is only fair to provide thoughtful and objective feedback about the work a person is expected to perform.

In both cases, the conversations were uncomfortable. But they were necessary.

Recognizing the need for a crucial conversation is the first step. In the next issue, we’ll explore how to approach these conversations with clarity, confidence, and respect—so you can speak up when it matters most.

*Crucial Conversations Tools For Talking When the Stakes are High, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, McGraw-Hill, 2002

Karen Davies
Senior Facilitator & Consultant, ServiceElements

Karen has been a valued member of the ServiceElements team for over six years, bringing more than 25 years of diverse experience across the aviation industry. Her background includes roles in Part 91 flight department scheduling and customer service within a repair and overhaul facility, giving her a deep understanding of both operational and customer-facing aspects of business aviation.

Karen has served on the NBAA Schedulers and Dispatchers Committee and holds multiple industry credentials, including an Aircraft Dispatcher License and Certified Aviation Manager (CAM) designation. She is also a Certified Coach and holds a Master’s degree in Project Management.

Passionate about helping individuals and teams grow, Karen combines her operational expertise and leadership insight to support clients in building stronger, service-focused aviation organizations.